I told you I did not make this up. I’m not sure Whit Stlllman made it up either when making “Metropolitain” but I’m telling you, it exists: The week between Christmas and New Year’s Day is called “Orgy Week” and it is _bar none_ the greatest week of the year. Today is the day after Christmas, some of you are Boxing Day shopping, others are cleaning up while the rest of you are “going for a walk” just to get out of the house and sneak a cigarette. Clearly you all need some help.
When it comes to “Orgy Week,” if you are at a loss as to what to do, just think of what it is you want to do. Most of you are probably thinking: WWCD? (What Would Caligula Do?) But don’t fret, you don’t have to run to salon and get waxed, that is extreme orgy. Personally, on Day One (Boxing Day) while some of you were trolling the aisles of the malls, all sweaty in your winter coats, carrying bags of crap, praying for a meteor to hit, I was in my pyjamas. All day! I shopped on-line! I don’t care what anyone says, it’s cheaper to shop on-line because you focus on what you want, not the extra crap that catches your eye when you are at the check-out. All the stores have on-line shopping and you don’t even have to travel to other cities to get there. Simons, the coveted department store in Montreal, has on-line shopping and Boxing Day sales, check it out here. I spent the morning perusing, while drinking mimomas. And then I watched my Boxing Day traditional movie, Metropolitian, while drinking straight champagne. GIF prooof:
Then I ate a box of crackers. And a wedge of gorgonzola. And some chocolate.
Freddy, also in his pyjamas, ate two McCains Delissio Rising Crust pizzas. Caligula in training.
I couldn’t even finish writing this post yesterday, I sugar-crashed mid-afternoon. Somewhere in the haze, I watched Jane Eyre with Evangeline which actually gave me nightmares last night. I was Rochester’s crazy wife, locked up in a room without tv or interwebs. And I woke up with the intense urge to go to Walmart and stock up on toilet paper and toothpaste. It is orgy week after all, 6 more days to go!
I’m going to check in with you later this week and see how y’all are managing. Right now I’m going to get some proper air. I will leave you with this, my favourite YouTube video of the year. If Tim the Tambourine Man doesn’t make you happy, no one will:
